Yep. The chinese are surely out to get us. Many chinese are indeed in Canada. They're forming a secret alliance with the French Canadians to plan an invasion of US. If successful, the west coast belongs to PRC, the east coast goes to the French, and the rest hand back to Mexico. Watch out the Mexicans too.  

一哥们办了个信用卡，银行送他一把军刀（其实是多功能刀），上边刻着：

Made in DeGuo 

My friend who is working at the European Commission in Bruxelles has just told me that an agreement is made whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. An official announcement will be made tomorrow at noon.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” ‘s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world! 

王近山中将就挨个房间翻腾着，在金银细软堆里搜罗着，忙得满头大汗。政委见状，
问道：“老王，你要找什么宝贝疙瘩？”

他闷声闷气回答：“地图！”

很快，“王疯子”在金银窝里翻箱倒柜找地图的消息传到了刘伯承那里，他嘿嘿一笑，召来
了“王疯子”，故意问道：“近山，听说你很忙，在李根固家挖地三尺找什么宝贝啊？”

“找地图。”王近山笑着说。

“找什么地图呀？”刘伯承问。“找印度和缅甸的地图，李根固是重庆的警备司令，没准有
这玩意儿。”

刘伯承打断他的话问：“你找印度和缅甸的地图干什么？”

王近山诧异地扬起眉毛：“我们打到重庆了，再往南不就要打印度和缅甸了吗？”

刘伯承笑出声了：“近山呀近山，谁告诉你我们要打印度和缅甸了？”

“可是，我们迟早要把帝国主义消灭，还要打到美国去呀！” 

 

--Independence Day 

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.